It seems that in my absence I've been declared lost and dead. Upon my return to HQ (at an undisclosed location), I was refused entry by the high-tech DNA and fingerprint recognition security. I spent three hours trying to convince some rookie low-level guard that I wasn't dead - I was standing directly in front of him. After a heated discussion, he decided to stand aside and allow me entry with his ID...well, 'decided' and 'allow' are vague verbs at best...and he was more lay to the side, than standing aside......

........

Day 1,423

I feel I must explain the post titled "Killin' the Mad World" - the beginning of
November was when the majority of our redundant staff left us. It was a sad
time, not least because FM remained. I was abrupt and testy with my friends, and
down-right nasty to my enemies. I felt wounded at my soul. I listened to
emo-music a lot... But that was then, and this is now - 7 months, 304 rounds of
intensive electro-shock treatment and one damn sexy blonde later, and I'm back
to listening to soft rock, hip-hop, rap, and the odd bit of angry
metal...eclectic music tastes, I know ;)

......

In this week's news:
-Overtime takes its toll
-Flexor Carpi Uranalis
-The Last Samurai

Overtime Takes Its Toll (but worth it in the end)
Well, my work schedule (which appeared to be too full already) took a turn for
the worse last week, as FM and MD no.1 queried over my set of completion
accounts from 'Project Cut The Head Off Our Company' ('Project Decapitation'
from now on).

Meeting with FM (MD1 did not deem us with his presence) - Last week

FM: Well, MD1 has had a look over these files and he's come back with a list of
queries, that he needs clarifying. Now there's quite a few, and it looks like
they're going to take 4/5 days, but we're going to need to take the files back
to him when he gets back from abroad next Monday.
Me (thinking): Monday!?!?? But I'm off partying on Thursday and Friday...that gives me two and a half days! If he thinks I'm cancelling my holidays that are booked off...
FM: Now, TallMan (see earlier posts) tells me you've got Thursday and Friday
booked off this week? Is there any chance you could delay those days 'til next
week or the week after? Or do you have plans?
Me (thinking): Delay them!?!? Yeah, I've got plans all right - I'm gonna go out, hire an expert sniper, and then set myself up a viewing tower so I can watch the whole fucking show!
Me (with a sly grin and a shake of the head): No, I don't think so...I've been
planning this for some time - I would've booked Monday off aswell, but
QuintenTarrantinoLookieLikie (QT from here on) already got there first.
FM (shifting uncomfortably in his chair at the off-hand rejection of his
well-thought-out idea): Erm...right...ye...okay, well... we'll work something
out, eh...
Me (thinking): We!?!? Work!?!? You don't work!! I think you mean Jim'll work, eh
FatMan!?
FM: I took down some notes on Thursday when MD1 was reviewing the files, and I'm
writing them up now...
Me (thinking): I'm sure there's a Friday in most people's weeks....
FM:...so I'll come back to you later on today, and pass on the queries that I've
written up so far. Okay?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Me (walking away...and thinking): Son of a mutha fu-wacked pisstaking
crankshafting bar-steward...

It was on this walk back to my desk, that my favourite blue biro snapped between my fingers, wrapping itself around the imaginary oesophagus trapped within my grasp...alas :(

......