I leaped from the tunnel opening with all the strength that my legs had left. My heart sank as I saw that the other side of the opening was no longer the ten feet away that it was on the plans; the far side had fallen away to create a mass of rubble at the bottom, and a chasm fourty feet wide. Shit, I exclaimed. As my leap reached its arch and I felt gravity take hold, I heard my pursuers reach the opening behind me. Gunshots rung out in the cavern, their echoes reverberating in my ears. And then I felt it - a single bullet, from the hundreds fired, reached its target. My right shoulder to open in pain; the force of the impact spinning me round to face my attackers. They stopped firing.
I had only one option remaining; only one chance to save my falling soon-to-be corpse from its fate. I reached into my right jacket pocket, and pulled out the device which they had been chasing me for. Glancing down at the rapidly approaching floor, I knew I had only seconds left. I quickly spun the dials of the device and pressed down hard on the large green button in the centre. I saw my life flash before my eyes, spinning faster and faster; right up to pnt were I behind to fall down the chasm, falling to a point 20 feet about the cavern floor. And then it all stopped. I watched my life stop in mid-air, my falling body slowing to a stop. And then, the space around me twisted and contorted into bright green and blue shapes; and then everything was dark.
I woke up, lying on the payment, my shoulder spiking with pain. I rolled over to get a better view of my environment - it was daylight, I was no longer in the cavern. I looked around for a landmark. A large spire in the distance; Paris, maybe. I started toward it, my shoulder ringing out in pain with every step. Then I saw the remains of a newspaper on the ground. It must've been a few days old, but even a rough date would help at this point. I reached for, righting through the pain, and checked for the date. 14, Avril 2006... seven months; the time-jump worked!

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Day 1410 (yes, if you count backwards the dates don’t tie in…in fact, upon my initial escapade into The Life And Times, I underestimated (and undercalculated…) just how long I had really worked here…Yep, going on four years now…I’d hazard a “woo!”, but on consideration maybe not…)

And so here we find ourselves, seven months down the line. Oh, how things have changed…actually, not much has changed at all…

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Upon my last outing, Cup4 passed into crockery heaven (or crockery hell – I’m not too sure about his character…he -did- hang about with the sharp knives quite a lot…), and Cup5 took his place. Cup5 is reigning strong – not a single suicide attempt in 7 months…we have an understanding, ever since our talk about Cup4’s demise.

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The aftermath from “Project Cut The Head Off Our Company” is still ongoing – felt now by those of us who remain…and the new members of staff that have joined us since...yes, apparently we didn’t have too many staff in the first place…go figure…

I have faced busier and busier work schedules every month since the sale…the work rota has largely been ignored, and we are all just fighting to keep our head above paper – there is one ongoing task that the accountants do collectively…this has been in a stagnant state since November. We plan to re-visit it some time in June…maybe before then, if the MD gets out the stick again…

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University Graduate (UD from here on) departed along with the rest, at the end of January…Hot Sexy Accountant (HSA for short) included…damn that redundancy selection team, damn them! To be fair, she -was- utterly incompetent, and ‘blonde’ only begins to describe how far from common sense a person can travel, especially when they’re a qualified accountant…but still {drools}…

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Speaking of qualified accountants (or not…) - FatMan (FM) remains…yes, amidst redundancy culling and even a mini-office-safari, in which he was the unknowing prey, he has survived…the incompetent nature, the unsightly figure, the visual re-enactments of a wild animal at work during dinnertimes…yes, all remain…and all of them haunt my eyes…even when I squeeze them tightly shut :S . Two pencils have left this world since my last post…and last week, my favourite blue biro…ah Biccy, too short you were for this world :’( …you shall be avenged :X

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My wall of LeverArch files evolved into a small hut around early December time, and has remained as such ever since…at least I have my privacy…

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That’s all for now…and remember - :D , or you just might want to keep a lookout for a madman on the rooftops with a Carbine 67 MM Sniper Rifle…well, they’re commonplace nowadays…aren’t they? ;)

Peace,

JR