Running through the streets, I saw the goons chasing me. They'd been on my tail for twenty minutes, and they were catching up. I rounded a corner and felt wood splinters hit my face, as a gunshot ricochet off the wall next to me. 'Silenced arms,' I thought to myself, 'clever bastards these fellas.'
I ran as hard as my legs would carry me and heard a bullet whistle past my ear, as they turned the corner. The river was three feet to my left and an embankment to my right. I would take my chances in the icy waters. I dove full-pace into the water, and kept underwater as long as I could hold my breath. The mission could wait, I started the long swim home; it was 2am and I'd have to commute by train in the morning.
Day 2
"Woah! I think this milk's off!"
"What dya mean, 'off'? I only bought it yesterday!!!"
"Well, look! It's stuck to the bottom of the bottle!"
"Let me see..."
*takes half-full 6pt bottle*
"Nah, that's not off."
"What dya mean?!?! How can you tell that by jus' lookin' at the bottle!?!?!"
"Coz, it frozen... Dippy!"
And so, begins another day...
Forgetting my security pass in the morning (and five minutes late, again...), I resorted to sweet-talking the receptionist into letting me through the system-locked doors. I was only 5 1/2 minutes late, natch 
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Okay, so got a bit of a rollocking off one of the qualifieds today. My signature on my emails says:
JimReaper (not real name!)
Trainee Management Accountant
Company Name
Tel No.
Apparently since I do a full accountant's work, I shouldn't be putting 'trainee' in my job title... okay, so not really a rollocking... More a mini-promotion, that I never knew about.
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IT staff are fools: I spend an hour a day doing development work that other people should be capable of doing. When I'm not doing the work, I'm showing them how to do it. And this is what they call "getting outside help in", is it?
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A note: This blog will most likely be in the above format - mixed up day, jumping around from one story to the next with no relevance between them. If you don't like, bite me!
Nah, just kidding... Or, am I?
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That's all for now, and remember... Sta-aay HAPPY!!
(Or I will hunt you down, and......